It's like going to a circus
Doing the same thing every week
You're wonderfully 'new-veau'
Sorry I can't turn the other cheek.
I'm not saying we should boo
Or jump on the players' back
But all our loyal chants must be earned
And today I decided to crack.
Just polite applause at the final whistle
Rather than mass 'Rabble' adulation
That's all they really deserved today
Before we slunk off back to the station.
So I had a rant and a moan
Chose not to lead 'the' song
Still proud to be part of Gavin's Pink & Blue Army
But on days like today it's plain wrong.
We haven't won since Valentines
Love shouldn't be blind
And if the players are met by silence
You have to be cruel to be kind.
Dulwich Poet 28th March 2015
(I wrote this after Dulwich Hamlet lost 3-0 away to Wingate & Finchley, we're on a really awful run of form, and havn't won for weeks. It seems like some of our fans are happy to sing at the end of the match, but I think support needs to earned, and with no rendition of "Gavin Rose's Pink & Blue Army" at the final whistle they will realise they have to pull their socks up!)
Saturday, 28 March 2015
Monday, 23 March 2015
"With the Juniors"
It's been such a long time since I've done this
Had forgotten it was so much fun
Feeling that warmth from within
Standing under the cold Spring sun.
Watching Dulwich Hamlet Juniors
Boys who are only eleven
Little heroes in Pink & Blue
Scoring no less than seven.
The keeper Tom watches our First Team
One of our Champion Hill terrace tribe
Alas he concedes a late one
Missing out on his 'clean sheet' bribe.
For if he keeps out the opposition
His dad buys him a burger for his belly
Which is why he tries to perform
As if he's a pro on the telly!
Once the final whistle blew
I was staying for the next game
Turned out another splendid three points
Though not quite the same.
This was Under Twelves one year older
Ans stronger to the ball
More aware of the game
Listening to the manager's call.
Another Hamlet victory
Close at one goal to nil
I was absolutely buzzing
Not even feeling the chill.
As an 'added bonus'
One of their dads threw
His toys out of the proverbial pram
Slagging off the Dulwich mums
Who didn't give a damn.
He was a big bully
Oh so brave and tough
But our mums' stood their ground
They had had enough!
Giving back as good as they got
Everyone started to shout
Then his boy got subbed as they were losing
And from the ground he slunk out!
So it was the moral victory for us
All those kids gave me so much joy
Proud to support Dulwich Hamlet
Over forty years man and boy.
Dulwich Poet 23rd March 2015
(Yesterday it was a nice morning, the Youth Team never had a game, so I wandered a mile from home to watch one of our young fans play in goal for the Dulwich Hamlet Junior Football Club Under Elevens. I stayed for the Under 12's match after. Under 11's 7, Russellers 1; Under 12's 1, Phoenix Sports 0.)
Had forgotten it was so much fun
Feeling that warmth from within
Standing under the cold Spring sun.
Watching Dulwich Hamlet Juniors
Boys who are only eleven
Little heroes in Pink & Blue
Scoring no less than seven.
The keeper Tom watches our First Team
One of our Champion Hill terrace tribe
Alas he concedes a late one
Missing out on his 'clean sheet' bribe.
For if he keeps out the opposition
His dad buys him a burger for his belly
Which is why he tries to perform
As if he's a pro on the telly!
Once the final whistle blew
I was staying for the next game
Turned out another splendid three points
Though not quite the same.
This was Under Twelves one year older
Ans stronger to the ball
More aware of the game
Listening to the manager's call.
Another Hamlet victory
Close at one goal to nil
I was absolutely buzzing
Not even feeling the chill.
As an 'added bonus'
One of their dads threw
His toys out of the proverbial pram
Slagging off the Dulwich mums
Who didn't give a damn.
He was a big bully
Oh so brave and tough
But our mums' stood their ground
They had had enough!
Giving back as good as they got
Everyone started to shout
Then his boy got subbed as they were losing
And from the ground he slunk out!
So it was the moral victory for us
All those kids gave me so much joy
Proud to support Dulwich Hamlet
Over forty years man and boy.
Dulwich Poet 23rd March 2015
(Yesterday it was a nice morning, the Youth Team never had a game, so I wandered a mile from home to watch one of our young fans play in goal for the Dulwich Hamlet Junior Football Club Under Elevens. I stayed for the Under 12's match after. Under 11's 7, Russellers 1; Under 12's 1, Phoenix Sports 0.)
Saturday, 21 March 2015
"World Poetry Day"
There's a day for something
A day for this & that
Even a day for folk like me
Who want to be a poetic prat!
But it's amazing that I've learnt to enjoy
Trying to be a working class bard
I see it as theraputic
Picking up a pen's not so hard.
I've made some good friends on the poetry circuit
There are others who are weird
It's not so much different
To Dulwich Hamlet anti-hipsters with a beard.
Truth is I've always enjoyed writing
Being a poet's not hard or a curse
Simply a few words jumbled up together
To form some sort of verse.
If you read some on my Facebook
Go on...I won't tell a soul
Pick up a pen for World Poetry Day
Make a few small lines your goal.
Dulwich Poet 21st March 2015
( A Facebook friend of mine, who as far as I know is not even 'into' portry, knows that I am. And wished me a Happy World Poetry Day. I hadn't even realised it was world Poetry Day!)
A day for this & that
Even a day for folk like me
Who want to be a poetic prat!
But it's amazing that I've learnt to enjoy
Trying to be a working class bard
I see it as theraputic
Picking up a pen's not so hard.
I've made some good friends on the poetry circuit
There are others who are weird
It's not so much different
To Dulwich Hamlet anti-hipsters with a beard.
Truth is I've always enjoyed writing
Being a poet's not hard or a curse
Simply a few words jumbled up together
To form some sort of verse.
If you read some on my Facebook
Go on...I won't tell a soul
Pick up a pen for World Poetry Day
Make a few small lines your goal.
Dulwich Poet 21st March 2015
( A Facebook friend of mine, who as far as I know is not even 'into' portry, knows that I am. And wished me a Happy World Poetry Day. I hadn't even realised it was world Poetry Day!)
Friday, 13 March 2015
"Making Up"
How naughty is it of me
To want my train to brake
Enough to cause a sudden jolt
For you to make a mistake.
Concentrating in your little mirror
I'd love eye-liner across your face
Come on love, doing make-up on a train
There is a time and place.
This isn't going to be a sexist rant
I'm not that sort of bloke
There's just some things shouldn't be done
Seriously it's not a joke.
Maybe I should compile a list
Public transport cardinal sins
One of them would be
Not saving rubbish for the bins.
Not so much the 'Metro'
And other assorted freebie rags
And now it's all 'no smoking'
There's no dogends from fags.
It's those stinky boxes of chicken bones
The ones that cause a stink
It might mean nothing to you
But it's more anti-social than you think.
And don't get me fuckin' started
On the rush-hour seat for you bag
I don't care if you've been busy shopping
You're just an ignorant slag!
Now you can call me old-fashioned
But kids should hold mummy's hand
Whatever happened to common decency
With grown adults having to stand.
Next on my hit lists are those passengers
The ones who stand by the door
Then when I shove them to get off...
Lucky I don't knock them to the floor!
It's also a commuting 'no-no'
To engage in a chat
So why when you are on your mobile
Do you act like a total prat?
I don't care who has 'dissed' you
Or owe you money you're mug enough to lend
But all your incessant banal chat
Is driving me round the bend.
Though ometimes it gets so personal
It can be like an earwigging treat
'Private' chat who you're cheating on
For pub gossip it can't be beat.
Broadcasting down the carriage
About all your shagging & drugs
Or blurting out who you've beaten up
As you act like gangster thugs.
To be honest I can't complain when that happens
Whisper it- it makes me smile
Sometimes it can be an after-work bonus when going home
A close up edition of Jeremy Kyle!
Dulwich Poet 13th March 2015
(This began from seeing a woman doing her make-up, on the packed train into work. It sort of rambled on from there!)
To want my train to brake
Enough to cause a sudden jolt
For you to make a mistake.
Concentrating in your little mirror
I'd love eye-liner across your face
Come on love, doing make-up on a train
There is a time and place.
This isn't going to be a sexist rant
I'm not that sort of bloke
There's just some things shouldn't be done
Seriously it's not a joke.
Maybe I should compile a list
Public transport cardinal sins
One of them would be
Not saving rubbish for the bins.
Not so much the 'Metro'
And other assorted freebie rags
And now it's all 'no smoking'
There's no dogends from fags.
It's those stinky boxes of chicken bones
The ones that cause a stink
It might mean nothing to you
But it's more anti-social than you think.
And don't get me fuckin' started
On the rush-hour seat for you bag
I don't care if you've been busy shopping
You're just an ignorant slag!
Now you can call me old-fashioned
But kids should hold mummy's hand
Whatever happened to common decency
With grown adults having to stand.
Next on my hit lists are those passengers
The ones who stand by the door
Then when I shove them to get off...
Lucky I don't knock them to the floor!
It's also a commuting 'no-no'
To engage in a chat
So why when you are on your mobile
Do you act like a total prat?
I don't care who has 'dissed' you
Or owe you money you're mug enough to lend
But all your incessant banal chat
Is driving me round the bend.
Though ometimes it gets so personal
It can be like an earwigging treat
'Private' chat who you're cheating on
For pub gossip it can't be beat.
Broadcasting down the carriage
About all your shagging & drugs
Or blurting out who you've beaten up
As you act like gangster thugs.
To be honest I can't complain when that happens
Whisper it- it makes me smile
Sometimes it can be an after-work bonus when going home
A close up edition of Jeremy Kyle!
Dulwich Poet 13th March 2015
(This began from seeing a woman doing her make-up, on the packed train into work. It sort of rambled on from there!)
Wednesday, 11 March 2015
"Every Lidl Helps"
Who ever would have thought it
Lidl's going all posh
Now I'm searching for my bargains
Next to the middle classes buying their nosh.
Not that I don't mind fancy stuff
Large lasagne at two pound sixty nine
But for me lah-di-dah cuisine
Is quails egs andfancy wine.
Have you ever noticed
Why Waitrose never has a Lidl next door
So fuck off back to where you come from
And leave us in our shops for the poor!
Is it reverse snobbery
Am I as bad as some of them?
People should be able to shop where they like
Is it really for me to condemn?
Yes...it bloody well is
When I'm the topic of their dinner party
How they their shoulders with the poor
Our High Street illuminati.
They can't believe they didn't find us earlier
The quality and the price are so good
In fact this stuff is wasted
On those oiks who live in the hood.
Believe me if it wasn't for necessity
With Pepsi Max being a pound a bottle
There'd be murder down my local Lidl
'Cos some of these posh cunts I'd love to throttle!
Dulwich Poet 11th March 2015
(I wrote this after getting a glossy booklet filled with 'osh stuff', clearly aimed at the more affluent middle class market, was produced by the cheap & basic supermarket chain Lidl, of which I use my local beanch regularly)
Lidl's going all posh
Now I'm searching for my bargains
Next to the middle classes buying their nosh.
Not that I don't mind fancy stuff
Large lasagne at two pound sixty nine
But for me lah-di-dah cuisine
Is quails egs andfancy wine.
Have you ever noticed
Why Waitrose never has a Lidl next door
So fuck off back to where you come from
And leave us in our shops for the poor!
Is it reverse snobbery
Am I as bad as some of them?
People should be able to shop where they like
Is it really for me to condemn?
Yes...it bloody well is
When I'm the topic of their dinner party
How they their shoulders with the poor
Our High Street illuminati.
They can't believe they didn't find us earlier
The quality and the price are so good
In fact this stuff is wasted
On those oiks who live in the hood.
Believe me if it wasn't for necessity
With Pepsi Max being a pound a bottle
There'd be murder down my local Lidl
'Cos some of these posh cunts I'd love to throttle!
Dulwich Poet 11th March 2015
(I wrote this after getting a glossy booklet filled with 'osh stuff', clearly aimed at the more affluent middle class market, was produced by the cheap & basic supermarket chain Lidl, of which I use my local beanch regularly)
Friday, 6 March 2015
"Sardines"
Profit is all that matters
At the barrier we wait
They offer electronic apologies
For trains being constantly late.
Commuters on their bellies
Slithering across the floor
Like commandoes on an assault course
As if really at war.
Truth is the war's long over
The battle's been long lost
Punctuality and safety has gone
It's profitability at all cost.
How long before a transport Hillsborough
Crushed waiting for a train
The bosses safe in their chauffeured cars
This really is insane.
Do you think they'll refund my season ticket
Is what I'll say with my last breath
Life squeezed out of me at London Bridge
On the concourse facing death.
Dulwich Poet 6th March 2015
(There have been severe delays, as London Bridge station is rebuilt, and there was a picture in the paper showing commuters crawling under barriers to escape crushing at the front)
At the barrier we wait
They offer electronic apologies
For trains being constantly late.
Commuters on their bellies
Slithering across the floor
Like commandoes on an assault course
As if really at war.
Truth is the war's long over
The battle's been long lost
Punctuality and safety has gone
It's profitability at all cost.
How long before a transport Hillsborough
Crushed waiting for a train
The bosses safe in their chauffeured cars
This really is insane.
Do you think they'll refund my season ticket
Is what I'll say with my last breath
Life squeezed out of me at London Bridge
On the concourse facing death.
Dulwich Poet 6th March 2015
(There have been severe delays, as London Bridge station is rebuilt, and there was a picture in the paper showing commuters crawling under barriers to escape crushing at the front)
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