"What Might Have Been"

Sometimes I wish
I'd taken another path
It's not as if the one I've followed
Has been a bundle of laughs.
Always too scared of
What others thought
Frightened of what I wanted to be
Which is how I've ended up
As the nobody you see.
On the plus side
I no longer drink, never done drugs
Though don't get me wrong
I'm not saying that's for mugs.
In Hamburg I caught a glimpse
Of a community living alone
And although I'll never make that jump
Spiritually I've grown.
At first glance...
It's a haven for tramps
But you couldn't be more wrong
About these caravan camps.
I was a stranger from football
Shown around inside
I felt humbled and honoured
With a fair bit of pride.
Wash away the grime
And you find hearts of gold
Caring and compassionate
Not hard and cold.
What future I have is set
The die has been cast
Same old humdrum existence
I'm going nowhere fast.
Staying put til my last breath
Nowhere to roam
But for a few hours in Germany
I was an outsider
Whose spirit was home.

Dulwich Poet 9th June 2014

(On Saturday 31st May I was invited to a football friend's home, which was an old wooden caravan/shack on a punk/drop-out commune, set away from the street, where he has lived for over twenty years. It was an amazing place, and I envied his conviction to live his life that way...)