"Inner Pride"

I've just been to the pictures
The film that they call "Pride"
It really made me well up
Not kidding you..I cried!
While I'm so proud
To be twelve years sober
I can't help but look back and regret
Thinking of the life I should have had
And all the people I could have met.
My own friend was Fosters and Carlsberg
The 'real me' immersed in beer
Was the reason I hid behind alcohol
Being too ashamed to be queer?
Best not to self-analyse
Delving deep into my mind
My life's been full of mistakes and fuck-ups
Best leave all that baggage behind.
Time to look forward
Be realistic with the truth
Accept the fact I'm lonely
And can't re-live my youth.
But I can be more political
And start to make amends
Enjoy things like my poetry
And appreciate my circle of friends.
They say 'life begins at forty'
In two years I'll be a decade late
Maybe when I finally hit fifty
It's time to get my life sorted straight.
Truth be told there's no set barrier
As to what in middle age I can start to achieve.
If I finally have some faith in myself
And embrace this strange thing...
Called BELIEVE.

Dulwich Poet 27th September 2014

(I wrote this after having seen the film 'Pride', which was about the group 'Lebians & Gays Support The Miners', set during the Great miners Strike of 1984/85, a strike I supported, but not as active as I should have done. The film had a wonderful 'feel good' factor)