"Martin"

I know I'll never be like
Nor want to end up like you
You may think you're 'Mr. Dulwich'
But have the respect of few.
Only caring about number one
Rather than the Club
You're actually the sort of bloke
No-one would buy a drink in a pub.
I'm not denying you did your bit
But it was YOU that came first
Anyone who comes after you
They must do their worst.
Constant sniping and moaning
It wears everyone else down
When you should be treated with dignity
You're laughed at like a clown.
No idea of decorum
Which is why you lack respect
Even though you're three score and ten
I can't believe you've not been decked.
Now your photo's been smashed
As you sully our Boardroom wall
I genuinely resent the fact
You come to games at all.
I can't really hate you
You're not even worth that
To be honest I pity you
When in the corner you're sat.
Slagging off your replacement
Before his foot's even in the door
Sadly it's what I'd expect from you
Attitude so poor.
Out of touch with reality
Your cronies have had their day
If only you'd do the decent thing
And simply stay away.
So desperate to be important
Now so out of touch
Skin so thick you won't grasp
Why hardly anyone likes you much.
Now you live in the West Country
Go find somewhere local
That's if you can pull the wool over
Some stupid sheep-shagging local.
You've always had your own agenda
Looking after your good self
Oh how much I like it
That you're not in perfect health!
Even though we're stuck with you
And you'll be a around for quite a while
I'm comforted that when you die
You'll finally make me smile.


Dulwich Poet 26th July 2017


(This one is NOT one I'm going to publish on Facebook, as the person it's about is a FB friend with me, just not worth the hassle! )