"No Rhyme or Reason"

Who knows when our number's up
If there's anything on the other side
Or if there's a total finality
Once you've gone and died.
Will anyone really mourn me
When I end up brown bread
Whether that be through natural causes
Or acting on thoughts in my head.
Of course there's other options
Accidental or deeds foul
But whichever way I do depart
They'll mourn through duty rather than wail & howl.
Isn't that human nature
We think less of ourselves than others do
Too late when we're dead & buried
Loved more than we ever knew.
In truth I'm such a lonely man
More than you can possibly think
I really can relate to
When others are on the brink.
I've very few true friends
Plenty of people who I know
Those who will pretend to mourn me
Then forget me when I go.
In some ways I am lucky
I've got poetry in my life
My trusty pen and notebooks
Getting me through times of strife.
Never underestimate the power of poetry
For self-worth and easing pain
In slightly darker times
It's my words that keep me sane.
The delight in reading and sharing
Standing up at Open Mic
Such a buzz and confidence boost
That's what I really like.
Sat back down in my seat
Taking in other poets on the floor
That's why I keep on coming back
Always wanting more.
I know nothing about other performers
But for two hours they're all my friend
That's why it genuinely touches me so
When their lives come to an end.
We are all totally different
But for a few moments we're as one
So thanks to Ernie, Niall & Co.,
For all the events you have done.
To those who have departed 
I loved you all at the front of the room
Allowing me to escape my life of drudgery
All banality and gloom.
You're the poets who've shone before me
There'll be others when I'm gone too
I'm proud to be part of your poetry crowd
And being able to say I'm one of you.

Dulwich Poet 11th August 2018

(I wrote this before the 'Platform 1 Poetry' monthly night last Saturday.. There was no feature, it was just Open Mic. A few from the 'poetry circuit' have died recently, including one who supposed to feature, but passed away the week before and the host mentioned on Facebook that it might be nice to write some sort of tribute. This isn't a tribute as such, it's just what came out, it's about, Poetry, poets and myself...)