"Contendedly Bah Humbug"

I'm quite proud of my little flat
Even though it's a dump
Cos mine's got no Christmas Tree
Proud to be a grump.
I've got Metro's from last month
Not a Christmas card in sight
I prefer to be all alone
My perfect Silent Night.
If I'm really honest
It's the falseness I can't stand
All that shallow 'Merry Christmas'
Pretending to enjoy the Sally Army band.
Acting oh so caring
As we reach the end of the year
Just another excuse to pig out
Knocking back the beer.
Now there's nothing wrong with that
In it's only little way
But it's all that false jollity
Just because it's Christmas Day.
You call me a Grinch or Scrooge
Misery Guts and worse
To be honest I don't give a fuck
Which is why I'm doing this unfestive verse.
Why should I be nice because it's Christmas
Shouldn't we be nice all year round
Instead of just right now
Because you feel duty bound?
Thank you family for the invites
Apart from the food I'd be bored to tears
For me Christmas is an irrelevance
You should have learnt that down the years.
You all wear your Chrimbo jumpers
That make you look a tit
And thanks to all the once-a-year drinkers
Even going to the pub is shit.
In my own way I'm more than happy
As I keep my front door shut
It doesn't mean I'm lonely
Even though I'm stuck in a rut.
I'll still have a decent dinner
A tasty bit of roast chicken or beef
Feasting because I want to
Not in the name of mock-religious belief.
DVD's from chairty shops
See...I can do 'nice' too
Without having to pander
To the crazy consumerist zoo.
Do what you want on the 25th
Celebrate as you like
But don't dare moan at me for not taking part
On your fucking bike!
If you wish me a Merry Christmas
Sorry, I prefer my football Boxing Days
If you want to see a smile on my face
Come on Dulwich Hamlet and beat K's!

Dulwich Poet 23rd December 2015

(Another 'Christmas' poem...on Boxing Day this year Dulwich Hamlet are at home to Kingstonian)