"The Waiting Game"

Waiting for my next appointment
Am worried about my toe
But honest truth be told
It's to Altona I want to go.
This trip means the world
Will be one of the highlights of my life
More than chopping off part of my foot
That's causing me so much strife.
My body's fighting back
With antibiotics pumped through
Until I go to Germany
I really don't know what to do.
Going to see The Hamlet in Altona
Means more than you'll ever know
Such dark thoughts inside if I'm not there
You really don't want to know.
I scared of what I'll do
So frightened if I do not
It's desperately hard to keep level-headed
Even though it's the only hope I've got.
Don't know what the future holds
But I've got to make this trip
At stake is a lot more
Than my big toe giving me gyp.
This anniversary football tour
Is so close to my heart
If I can't make it
Will really tear me apart.
Put my faith in the doctors
Praying to Edgar they let me go
I really don't want to contemplate 
How i'll react if they say no!

Dulwich Poet 5th June 2018

(I wrote this in the waiting room, before I see a consultant, five weeks into a six week course of  intravenous antibiotics, and five weeks before Dulwich Hamlet are due for a once in a lifetime trip to Hamburg to play Altona 93)