"Nothing To Watch"

Clogging up the telly
So-called wedding of the year
Such a happy occasion 
Supposed to fill us with cheer.
Unless you're one of the homeless of Windsor
Swept off the street
I'd doubt if they'll be the ones fawning
At the royal couple's feet.
All done so kindly
Temporary accommodation found
If it's that fucking simple
Why ain't it done all year round?
These rough sleepers
They don't want to help themself
In case you hadn't worked out
It's because of their mental health.
Well I'll tell you something now
They're not as bad as the wedding crowd
Head to toe in Union Jacks
Whooping out aloud.
Arriving days before
Sleeping bags and thermos flask
Uniform completed
With a Prince Harry cardboard mask.
Conveniently forgotten
Is his Nazi fancy dress
Not one of them in tribute
To Hitler or Rudolf Hess.
The thing about this couple
Is they're 'ordinary' like you or me.
Well I've got no neighbours like that
Popping in for a cup of tea.
What on earth do they know
About counting coins on the kitchen table
A choice between feeding your dog
Or yourself if you are able.
Not going down to use the library
Because you've got that small fine
The day before your benefits
Beans on toast equal fine dine.
Being totally skint
For ten minutes late at the job centre
Never getting repairs done
Cos you're a dodgy bedsit renter.
I haven't watched the telly
You may have guessed I think they're cocks
There's nothing worse I want to see
On the fucking box.
Hopefully we'll copy the French
Who had the right idea
If it's off with their heads
Even I'll raise a beer!

Dulwich Poet 19th May 2018

(I wrote this on the day of the Royal Wedding of Prince Harry & Meghan Markle)