"Liquid Fools Gold"

Have you overdone it
A little too much Christmas cheer
Time to go and show them
Have a month off the beer.
Cos this will really show them
It's so easy to cope
And I'll really be quids in
Money for old rope.
Look how I don't need that drink
Haven't even got the shakes
See I'm just a sociable drinker
I've got what it takes.
Who are you trying to kid
You're only fooling yourself
In truth you're an Alkie
Pretending to be in good health.
In January you're the pub bore
Spouting out you don't need booze
Squeezing another notch on your belt
Saying how many pounds you're going to lose.
Come the First of February
You'll just have one or two
Then normal service resumed
It becomes quite a few.
Deep down you know the truth
Everyone else knows the score
You're an alcoholic
Even if you're not lying on the floor.
So no more of this pretend nonsense
Stopping in January lark
You're really not much different
Than those dossers in the park.
This peretence of being in control
When alcohol's got you round the neck
It really is a death grip
And you're going to hit the deck.
It's not being a social drinker
Getting pissed until you can't walk
You must know you have a problem
Despite all your normality talk.
Seeing as you're Old Skool old fashioned
Time to use the proverbial phone book
Go search for Alcoholics Anonymous
You need to take a look.

 Dulwich Poet 12th January 2019

(It's 'Dry January' apparently. When people give up drink, de-tox for a month, make the sacrifice for charity, or whatever. It also masks people with drink problems pretending they are 'normal' drinkers...)