"Was That Christmas?"

Don't get me wrong I enjoyed it
My sister inviting me to her friend
But it was something I was so unused to
Couldn't wait for the day to end.
What a lovely hostess
As soon as we got through the door
Radiating happiness and goodwill
Despite cooking for a dozen or more.
I felt like an outsider
Is this how ordinary people live
Sat round the dinner table
Not sure what I had to give.
Making sure I controlled my tongue
Careful what I said
Not wanting to make a fool of myself
With the first thought in my head.
They all gave out little presents
I was just my sister's 'plus one'
Not that I was expecting anything
When all was said and done.
Watching their little pleasure
'Pretending' to like what they got
Knowing I've always got it right
By not caring a jot.
Consumerism nightmares
Buying fancy tat
What's the point of more socks or smellies
Not for me where I'm sat.
Hand on heart I'll be honest
It wasn't the ordeal I thought
And my hostess appreciated the diplomacy
Of the bottle of wine I brought.
I liked it more than I should
And the food was top notch
But deep down I felt I don't belong here
Constantly looking at my watch.
I get you all enjoy it
As far as I could see
If only people would understand
Christmas is not for me.

Dulwich Poet 12th January 2019

(My original plans were to visit a friend for Christmas, but it fell through. My sister was going to visit one of her friends, and invited me along. I'm not a Christmas person, it was strange, but also nicer than I thought...)