"Dear Richard's Uncle"

I don't think
I'd have liked
Your uncle
If what you said
Is true:

" Richard. Never trust anyone with missing teeth.Because
if they can't be trusted with their 'own teeth'
what can you trust them with? And never employ
fat people they don't do anything
that's why they're fat "

　
Well with all due respect
Which is what people
Say to people
Like your uncle
When they mean
Nothing of the sort.
I'm one of those fat blokes
With missing teeth to boot.
I sincerely hope, uncle
You're not a bit
On the lardy side too
Because if I ever
Catch up with you
You will end up
Getting a slap
That will result
In you fulfilling
The other part
Of the criteria
That you so despise.

Dulwich Poet 15th October 2013

( This is my 'response' to a poem called 'Dear Richard', by Richard Tyrone Jones, which is about 'advice' from his uncle; which was published in the book "Germline". I borrowed it from the Poetry Library)