" It's All In The Wording"

I had a bit of a shock
When I saw a heading about Spads.
Stuck in the Seventies
I thought it was
A new word for 'Spaz'.
But no, we are
Twenty first century
Politically correct
I guess in 'right on speak'
That's 'bodily challenged'
To show respect.
The Spad I saw
Stood for 'Special Advisor'
As in Gove's little minions
Which was a bit of a surpriser.
So I'm learning new words
Thanks to the sacked
Education bloke
The one's  who's made
Our schools a joke.
Words like 'spaz'
We no longer use
Unless it slips out
When we have a short fuse.
Sometimes wrong words slip out
Try as we might..
Almost more preferable
To repleacements deemed right.
There's 'visually impeared'...
Noe I don't want to be unkind
I don't mean to be rude
But it's the blind leading the blind.
For the blind know they're blind
And they know they can't see
They don't need made up new words
Invented for them by you and me.
And don't get me started on Christmas
With that 'Winterval' farce
Middle class do-gooders
Talknig out of their arse.
Forget about changing words
For word changing sake
You're spouting bollocks
And totally fake.
Never mind "It's offensive to Muslims"
And all that nonsense
You never fucking asked them
So cut the pretence!
What I'm saying
Is stop changing words
Poisoning language
With your P.C. crap
Cos cos believe me
If' the old stuff's genuinely offensive
You'll find out ...
With an old fashioned slap.

Dulwich Poet 23rd July 2014

( I wrote this after seeming a two page article on political 'Special Advisors', or SpAds, in the Evening Standard tonight, following the recent Conservative Party cabiet reshuffle...)