"Don't Shit On Your Doorstep"

Look around you
What do you see
I see faces
Staring expectantly.
But other than that
Have a look
I see poetry
Book after book.
There behind you
Sat on the shelf
I hold my hand up
I'm not a man of wealth.
Told from a young age...
Don't steal from your own
And never grass!
Anything else
Let it pass.
There is a reson
Why I sit in a corner
Sat at the back
you never spot
While you rhythmmy yack.
A book or two
In my bag
With the accomplished touch
Of a hardened old lag.
What's the point of books in the dark
They need to read
In the daylight
Of a park.
Nine times out of ten
I bring them back to Unplugged
Wouldn't want the Poetry Society
Thinking they've been mugged.
(Even if that's what they do to us
Have you seen their bar prices
Don't make a fuss!)
The books I 'arf inch
I keep for my pleasure
A delight to read again
At my own leisure.
You might think
It's wrong to steal
But look me in the eye
Time to get real.
One good turn deserves another
That's how the saying goes....
Well stick that up your arse
And stuff your prose!
They say the old are rude
And here's the proof
To think pensioners say
The young are uncouth!
"This copy belongs
To the Poetry Cafe-
Do not remove!
If you want to buy this book..."
Calm down Granny
I just wanted a look!
Please don't get your knickers in a twist
I get the message
Get the gist.
But please explain
If your book's so precious to you
Why even send it out
And get in a stew?
I was probably the first person
To pick it up
Once I read your inscription
I couldn't give a fuck.
It's the first one I've taken
And not bothered to read
Which sort of negates
Your giving away deed.
Despite all that
I almost bought it from you
But I decided I couldn't risk
The Sorting Office queue.
Knowing my luck
There'd be someold bat like you next in line
So I've changed my mind
And fuck it, this book's mine.

Dulwich Poet 1st July 2014

(I go to several poetry readings/'open mics' at the Poetry Cafe, near Covent Garden. They are held in the basement, where there's a couple of shelves of poetry book to read. It doesn't acutally say 'Don not take away'...so often I do exactly that. One, 'Capturing Snowflakes' by Eve Pearce, had an inscription ordering people not to do that, and to buy it from her, leaving her email to do so, or off of Amazon)