"Guy Fawkes Off"

Oh for the good old days of Bonfire Night
Now it's all about Halloween
Where your old school sparklers and bangers
Are nowhere to be seen.
It was always such a good earner
Penny for the Guy
That's what we spent on sweets
Not rockets to the sky.
Now the kids go begging
Knocking on your door
Not content with a sweet
They want even more.
Please stop me if I'm wrong
Though I don't care in the least
Wouldn't Halloween have been perfect
For Jimmy Savile the beast?
Now then, now then kiddies
Do you want a sweet
Why don't you come step inside
And see what I've got you for a treat?
It was the demise of Woolworths
I blame for 'trick or treat'
No more nicking stuff at 'Pick & Mix'
For your free sweeties treat.
Along came good old health & safety
It was too dangerous to have some fun
No more bangers in a letterbox
The do-gooders had won.
As for building your own bonfire
Ripping down your neighbours fence at night
Throwing petrol on the blaze having loads of fun
Even though not strictly right.
Putting rockets in milk bottles
Hoping they flew up in the air
Messing about with sparklers
Singeing your mates' hair.
Do-it-yourself baked potatoes
Silver foiled in the fire
Choking on the black smoke
From a burning tyre.
All of that a thing of the past
Thanks to Halloween
Identikit plastic Poundland tat
Is all that can be seen.
It sneaked in across the Atlantic
This foreign Halloween beast
UKIP weren't paying attention
Their eyes all focussed east.
So we're stuck with the tame Council display
Where many are forced to charge
You won't find me parting with a penny
Unless they're burning an effigy of Farage.

Dulwich Poet 31st October 2014

(I wrote this about the rise of Halloween, and the demise of Bonfire Night)