"Yesterdays News"

I had to take a second glance
At the bloke across the way
for he's sitting on my tube train
Reading the 'News of the World' today.
I'm wondering if I'm back on the booze
Surely I must be pissed
For it's been at least three years now
Since that rag did exist.
No, I've not gone crazy
I'm lucid and alive
Unlike the man with his paper
For it's from nineteen ninety five!
Maybe he's been in prison
Just got out of jail
I don't really want to ask him
In case I don't like the tale.
For he's wearing corduroy trousers
Which indicates a nonce
And he's got a Bobby Charlton comb-over
Across his balding bonce.
It was browning at the corners
But he'd kept it well in his cell
The headline said Tarrant was on the telly
Esther Rantzen as well.
Tarrant is still with us
It's the paper that's  brown bread
Wish I could say the same of Esther
It's just her career that's dead.
I only caught a glimpse
I have no idea what was over the page
Maybe it was one of those big titty birds
That were all the rage.
All those years he was probably banged up
It was all he had to look at inside
Not counting when he dropped the soap in the shower
The closest he got to a ride.
Why was he really reading that paper
Truth is I haven't got a clue
Maybe I should have asked him
Which would have been the thing to do.
But I can't break the rules of London
NEVER speak to a stranger on a train
Which is why my mind was in overdrive
And this poem was so insane!

Dulwich Poet 30th October 2014

(A few months ago I was sat on a train and the bloke opposite was reading a newspaper. Nothing unusual in that...but it was a copy of the 'News of the World', which folded three years ago!)