"Post Match Chill"

I'm in a pub full of Dulwich fans
And I'm really bored to tears
We're here to watch the football
And knock back a few beers.
Well all apart from me
Got to stick to the soft drink
I don't need alcohol for my buzz
I've got my boys in Blue and Pink.
For my heroes Dulwich Hamlet
Have just won at Harrow Borough
Doing so quite professionally
Three one being rather thorough.
It's always nice to socialise
A group of us in the pub
But truth be told I don't watch telly football
And therein lies the rub.
I popped out to the local shop
Bought my Lottery to fuel the dream
Just because I love my football
Things aren't what they seem.
If I was rich I'd dip into top flight
But not on my current wage
I'm not totally against the Premiership
But high costs make me rage.
It's Arsenal against Man. United
I dread to think the price
If I could get to a live game
I wouldn't need to think twice.
Watching this match on the telly
It's not the same as being there
No matter the glamour of Premier League
If it's on the box I don't care.
You think you're oh so loyal
As you sit there nursing your half
Without any dream of going to the ground
You're really having a laugh.
Content to sit on the sofa
Down your local boozer
Never in a hundred years a football fan
You're such fake football loser!
You've never known the magic of the terrace
Bouncing as one up and down
As you spout your pub talk nonsense
Articulating like a clown.
I'd rather watch local county league
Down at the nearest park
Than get worked up by televised fantasy
Where the contrast couldn't be more stark.
Give me the honest graft of non-league
Over millionaire prima-donnas anyday
Seeing it 'live' on the box
Can't compare with Harrow Borough away
So I'll sit here chilling out writing this poem
Rather than watch this armchair caper
Warming to the contemplation
Of the report in tomorrow's 'Non League Paper'.

Dulwich Poet 22nd November 2014

(I wrote this in a pub, with a group of fellow Dulwich Hamlet fans, after having seen The Hamlet win 3-1 at Harrow Borough. This isn't about them, it's about my lack of interest in televised football, and my distain for so many people, who have no interest in ever going to a match,as opposed to those who can't afford to, having been priced ou] but are football experts in pubs. Arsenal versus Manchester United was a 5.30pm kick off. )