Another year nearly over
I'm really scared to speak
Not getting any younger
Fearing my future's bleak.
Even though I'm healthy-ish
I think I've not got long to live
Despite kind words others might say
Don't feel I've got much to give.
If only I had a machine
One of those that go back in time...
Oh to be given the chance to start again
But who's to say it would all be fine?
I hate myself, I hate my life
Far fewer days good than bad
To scared to admit the problem's me
Because I'm always feeling sad.
Next year I need to set targets
As I'll reach half a century old
Because if I don't start doing it soon
The future's a mortuary slab cold.
Dulwich Poet 30th December 2015
(The poem speaks for itself. I turn fifty next year, & I'm not happy with life...)
Wednesday 30 December 2015
Tuesday 29 December 2015
"Short & Sweet"
A Facebook friend posted a football status:
Oh Dulwich, you make me happy
Oh Van Gaal, you make me sad.
To which I responded:
Short & sweet
Poetry can't be beat.
Dulwich Poet 29th December 2015
(Self explanatory!)
Oh Dulwich, you make me happy
Oh Van Gaal, you make me sad.
To which I responded:
Short & sweet
Poetry can't be beat.
Dulwich Poet 29th December 2015
(Self explanatory!)
Saturday 26 December 2015
"Ten Years On"
They say life begins at forty
When I was too scared to jump
Sitting on a Brussels window-ledge
In mental pain but scared of the thump.
Now it's almost New Year
Soon to be fifty years of age
And I've got this nagging feeling
I'm reaching my final stage.
The only thing I will miss
Is seeing people say goodbye.
I'd love to those who don't care
As well as those ewho cry.
I've got this far not achieving
Life's been one BIG fail
I feel I've been one HUGE disappointment
Leaving despair in my trail.
I've hurt so many people
Family and friends
Not wanting to melodramatic
But I can't see where it all ends.
Yet as I get older...
I realise I've got a heart
But I feel everything's passed me by
To try and make a fresh start.
My life is really shitty
Even though I've come on leaps and bounds
In my head I've got no future
I know how crazy that sounds.
Every time I move one step forward
I get knocked two steps back
What the fuck is wrong with me
What is it that I lack?
My life has been an 'existence'
Rather than a life at all
Depending on what mood I'm in
I want to walk tall.
All the things I've done
All the things I've never been
Can I do anything with my life?
That remains to be seen.
Dulwich Poet 26th December 2015
(It's almost New Year, & next year I will reach 50 year-of-age. Part of me is looking forward to it, part of me is not. I feel I'm at 'Last Chance Saloon' & life never really 'began' at forty...)
When I was too scared to jump
Sitting on a Brussels window-ledge
In mental pain but scared of the thump.
Now it's almost New Year
Soon to be fifty years of age
And I've got this nagging feeling
I'm reaching my final stage.
The only thing I will miss
Is seeing people say goodbye.
I'd love to those who don't care
As well as those ewho cry.
I've got this far not achieving
Life's been one BIG fail
I feel I've been one HUGE disappointment
Leaving despair in my trail.
I've hurt so many people
Family and friends
Not wanting to melodramatic
But I can't see where it all ends.
Yet as I get older...
I realise I've got a heart
But I feel everything's passed me by
To try and make a fresh start.
My life is really shitty
Even though I've come on leaps and bounds
In my head I've got no future
I know how crazy that sounds.
Every time I move one step forward
I get knocked two steps back
What the fuck is wrong with me
What is it that I lack?
My life has been an 'existence'
Rather than a life at all
Depending on what mood I'm in
I want to walk tall.
All the things I've done
All the things I've never been
Can I do anything with my life?
That remains to be seen.
Dulwich Poet 26th December 2015
(It's almost New Year, & next year I will reach 50 year-of-age. Part of me is looking forward to it, part of me is not. I feel I'm at 'Last Chance Saloon' & life never really 'began' at forty...)
Thursday 24 December 2015
"Merry Christmas"
At last I'm getting excited by Christmas
Sat on a 176 bus seat
On my way home the day before
Looking for a piece of meat.
I've got Tesco, Co-Op or Lidl
Tomorrow's food for one
Couldn't care less about Christmas
Just pigging out when all is said and done.
Plenty of DVD box sets
No need to leave my flat
Gonna enjoy myself & stuff my face
In the front room where I'll be sat.
I've a series of Mr. Selfridge
As well as Chicago Fire
Content enough in my own way
Even if you find it dire.
I'll wake up in the morning
Fifteen hours to kill
You might be full of pity
But for me it fits the bill.
I've just heard myself on a podcast
'Shocked' at the 'angriness' of my sound
But I can't shy away from reality
I'm beaten but not quite downed.
Without a doubt things could be better
Could also be a darnsight worse
Sometimes I celebrate being alive
At other times it's a curse.
Forget the 'festive spirit'
Tomorrow's 'just' another day
I'm living for the one that follows
When Dulwich Hamlet come out to play.
Dulwich Poet 24th December 2015
(Just explaining how I was going to spend my Christmas Day...and that's about how it went, with a lovely piece of pork from Lidl!)
Sat on a 176 bus seat
On my way home the day before
Looking for a piece of meat.
I've got Tesco, Co-Op or Lidl
Tomorrow's food for one
Couldn't care less about Christmas
Just pigging out when all is said and done.
Plenty of DVD box sets
No need to leave my flat
Gonna enjoy myself & stuff my face
In the front room where I'll be sat.
I've a series of Mr. Selfridge
As well as Chicago Fire
Content enough in my own way
Even if you find it dire.
I'll wake up in the morning
Fifteen hours to kill
You might be full of pity
But for me it fits the bill.
I've just heard myself on a podcast
'Shocked' at the 'angriness' of my sound
But I can't shy away from reality
I'm beaten but not quite downed.
Without a doubt things could be better
Could also be a darnsight worse
Sometimes I celebrate being alive
At other times it's a curse.
Forget the 'festive spirit'
Tomorrow's 'just' another day
I'm living for the one that follows
When Dulwich Hamlet come out to play.
Dulwich Poet 24th December 2015
(Just explaining how I was going to spend my Christmas Day...and that's about how it went, with a lovely piece of pork from Lidl!)
" Special K's "
Almost there
It's Christmas Eve
Looking forward to it
Even though I don't believe.
Weather forecast's ok
Football at the weekend
Groundhopping again.
First my Dulwich Hamlet on Saturday
For my holiday treat
Then two days for new grounds
Which fits in quite neat.
Once Friday has gone
It's Boxing Day for my church
Champion Hill my spiritual home
Unless the weather leaves me in the lurch.
Kingstonian the visitors
With that chip on their shoulder
So jealous of our renaissance
Resentment continues to smoulder.
I've nothing really against them
But their fans are weird
Labelling us all hipsters
Cos some of us wear a beard.
Enjoy your visit though you won't
Have a good look around
See the community work we're doing
Then ask why you're losing your ground.
By sheer weight of numbers
A few of our fans are strange
But by law of averages
That's what comes with change.
Stay in your sad time warp
Struck in your Geoff Chapple bubble
Perhaps that's half the reason why
Your club is in so much trouble.
Bitter and twisted
Heads buried in the sand
Thinking you're still winning the Trophy
When you were the best in the land.
In fact you got to Wembley
Spending money you'd not got
Setting yourself up for asset strippers
And now that's your lot.
Soon you'll not have a ground
That you can call your own
You'll be scrabbling for any old place
As you wander and roam.
I genuinely hope you get sorted
And you stay alive
But that 'Schadenfreunde' in me
Won't care if you survive.
For you knock us now
And you lose your friends
We won't really care much at all
If it finally ends.
I used to quite respect you
But now you look down on us
When you become homeless
I'll wonder what's the fuss.
I always care about my friends
Speaking up for what's right
But you're so full of hate and jealousy
I won't care about your plight.
Truth be told I respect your heritage
Don't want your club to die
But if that's the worst case scenario
I am not going to cry.
Dulwich Poet 24th December 2015
(I wrote this a couple of days before we play Kingstonian, a proud old club in the doldrums, some of their own making, some not. But their fans sneer at clubs like mine, who have worked hard to improve our attendances because many of our newer fans don't fit their 'mould' of a laddish working class male, who they think should make up football crowds...)
It's Christmas Eve
Looking forward to it
Even though I don't believe.
Weather forecast's ok
Football at the weekend
Groundhopping again.
First my Dulwich Hamlet on Saturday
For my holiday treat
Then two days for new grounds
Which fits in quite neat.
Once Friday has gone
It's Boxing Day for my church
Champion Hill my spiritual home
Unless the weather leaves me in the lurch.
Kingstonian the visitors
With that chip on their shoulder
So jealous of our renaissance
Resentment continues to smoulder.
I've nothing really against them
But their fans are weird
Labelling us all hipsters
Cos some of us wear a beard.
Enjoy your visit though you won't
Have a good look around
See the community work we're doing
Then ask why you're losing your ground.
By sheer weight of numbers
A few of our fans are strange
But by law of averages
That's what comes with change.
Stay in your sad time warp
Struck in your Geoff Chapple bubble
Perhaps that's half the reason why
Your club is in so much trouble.
Bitter and twisted
Heads buried in the sand
Thinking you're still winning the Trophy
When you were the best in the land.
In fact you got to Wembley
Spending money you'd not got
Setting yourself up for asset strippers
And now that's your lot.
Soon you'll not have a ground
That you can call your own
You'll be scrabbling for any old place
As you wander and roam.
I genuinely hope you get sorted
And you stay alive
But that 'Schadenfreunde' in me
Won't care if you survive.
For you knock us now
And you lose your friends
We won't really care much at all
If it finally ends.
I used to quite respect you
But now you look down on us
When you become homeless
I'll wonder what's the fuss.
I always care about my friends
Speaking up for what's right
But you're so full of hate and jealousy
I won't care about your plight.
Truth be told I respect your heritage
Don't want your club to die
But if that's the worst case scenario
I am not going to cry.
Dulwich Poet 24th December 2015
(I wrote this a couple of days before we play Kingstonian, a proud old club in the doldrums, some of their own making, some not. But their fans sneer at clubs like mine, who have worked hard to improve our attendances because many of our newer fans don't fit their 'mould' of a laddish working class male, who they think should make up football crowds...)
Wednesday 23 December 2015
"Contendedly Bah Humbug"
I'm quite proud of my little flat
Even though it's a dump
Cos mine's got no Christmas Tree
Proud to be a grump.
I've got Metro's from last month
Not a Christmas card in sight
I prefer to be all alone
My perfect Silent Night.
If I'm really honest
It's the falseness I can't stand
All that shallow 'Merry Christmas'
Pretending to enjoy the Sally Army band.
Acting oh so caring
As we reach the end of the year
Just another excuse to pig out
Knocking back the beer.
Now there's nothing wrong with that
In it's only little way
But it's all that false jollity
Just because it's Christmas Day.
You call me a Grinch or Scrooge
Misery Guts and worse
To be honest I don't give a fuck
Which is why I'm doing this unfestive verse.
Why should I be nice because it's Christmas
Shouldn't we be nice all year round
Instead of just right now
Because you feel duty bound?
Thank you family for the invites
Apart from the food I'd be bored to tears
For me Christmas is an irrelevance
You should have learnt that down the years.
You all wear your Chrimbo jumpers
That make you look a tit
And thanks to all the once-a-year drinkers
Even going to the pub is shit.
In my own way I'm more than happy
As I keep my front door shut
It doesn't mean I'm lonely
Even though I'm stuck in a rut.
I'll still have a decent dinner
A tasty bit of roast chicken or beef
Feasting because I want to
Not in the name of mock-religious belief.
DVD's from chairty shops
See...I can do 'nice' too
Without having to pander
To the crazy consumerist zoo.
Do what you want on the 25th
Celebrate as you like
But don't dare moan at me for not taking part
On your fucking bike!
If you wish me a Merry Christmas
Sorry, I prefer my football Boxing Days
If you want to see a smile on my face
Come on Dulwich Hamlet and beat K's!
Dulwich Poet 23rd December 2015
(Another 'Christmas' poem...on Boxing Day this year Dulwich Hamlet are at home to Kingstonian)
Even though it's a dump
Cos mine's got no Christmas Tree
Proud to be a grump.
I've got Metro's from last month
Not a Christmas card in sight
I prefer to be all alone
My perfect Silent Night.
If I'm really honest
It's the falseness I can't stand
All that shallow 'Merry Christmas'
Pretending to enjoy the Sally Army band.
Acting oh so caring
As we reach the end of the year
Just another excuse to pig out
Knocking back the beer.
Now there's nothing wrong with that
In it's only little way
But it's all that false jollity
Just because it's Christmas Day.
You call me a Grinch or Scrooge
Misery Guts and worse
To be honest I don't give a fuck
Which is why I'm doing this unfestive verse.
Why should I be nice because it's Christmas
Shouldn't we be nice all year round
Instead of just right now
Because you feel duty bound?
Thank you family for the invites
Apart from the food I'd be bored to tears
For me Christmas is an irrelevance
You should have learnt that down the years.
You all wear your Chrimbo jumpers
That make you look a tit
And thanks to all the once-a-year drinkers
Even going to the pub is shit.
In my own way I'm more than happy
As I keep my front door shut
It doesn't mean I'm lonely
Even though I'm stuck in a rut.
I'll still have a decent dinner
A tasty bit of roast chicken or beef
Feasting because I want to
Not in the name of mock-religious belief.
DVD's from chairty shops
See...I can do 'nice' too
Without having to pander
To the crazy consumerist zoo.
Do what you want on the 25th
Celebrate as you like
But don't dare moan at me for not taking part
On your fucking bike!
If you wish me a Merry Christmas
Sorry, I prefer my football Boxing Days
If you want to see a smile on my face
Come on Dulwich Hamlet and beat K's!
Dulwich Poet 23rd December 2015
(Another 'Christmas' poem...on Boxing Day this year Dulwich Hamlet are at home to Kingstonian)
"Say Cheese!"
That’s all they want you to do
Smile!
Because it’s Christmas…
Now call me old fashioned
If you must
It’s a bit of a catchphrase
Of mine, actually
Even though
I’m not old fashioned
But why should I smile
Just because it’s Christmas?
I never wish you
A Merry Christmas or
A Happy New Year anyway.
So tell me
Why should I smile
Just because
It’s bloody Christmas?
Something I don’t celebrate
Don’t enjoy
And don’t really like.
Smile?
Have you ever noticed
What a two and eight
My ‘ampsteads are in?
So don’t even go there
And say ‘Cheese!’
Cos I’ll be right fucking cheesed off.
We don’t all have to smile
To be happy.
And now
I’M NOT HAPPY
Because-
You tell me to smile.
Which means…
You have won.
I AM a miserable old git.
Are you happy now?
Smile!
Because it’s Christmas…
Now call me old fashioned
If you must
It’s a bit of a catchphrase
Of mine, actually
Even though
I’m not old fashioned
But why should I smile
Just because it’s Christmas?
I never wish you
A Merry Christmas or
A Happy New Year anyway.
So tell me
Why should I smile
Just because
It’s bloody Christmas?
Something I don’t celebrate
Don’t enjoy
And don’t really like.
Smile?
Have you ever noticed
What a two and eight
My ‘ampsteads are in?
So don’t even go there
And say ‘Cheese!’
Cos I’ll be right fucking cheesed off.
We don’t all have to smile
To be happy.
And now
I’M NOT HAPPY
Because-
You tell me to smile.
Which means…
You have won.
I AM a miserable old git.
Are you happy now?
Bah fucking Humbug!
Dulwich Poet 23rd December 2015
(No idea where this was going, just tried to do a poem about
Christmas!)
Friday 11 December 2015
"Could've been a Lion"
Is that a bandwagon?
Can't you hear the noise?
Time to pile down The New Den
We're all lifelong Millwall boys.
In the Tinpot Paintpot area final
Just one round from Wembley Way
Dreaming of another game under the Arch
South-east London going up north for the day.
Fifty thousand Lions at Wembley
It could be even more
All 'lifelong' supporters
Yes, you know the score.
They've always been Millwall
Stood on the 'Halfway Line'
Never missed a game at the old Den
Come rain or shine.
Been a fan for centuries
Millwall through and through
Just ain't been dahn there recently
But got a Lions tattoo.
I've never lied to you
Dulwich Hamlet are my side
Never been a proper Lion
Not really one of their pride.
In my younger days I was 'naughty'
Might've had a Bushwacking mate
Was one of many on the pitch at Luton
On that infamous FA Cup date.
Always had a soft spot for Millwall
But grateful I didn't stand on the C.B.L.
I'm certain my love of Dulwich Hamlet
Kept me out of a prison cell.
I had my hairy moments
Not just in a "Football Factory" adoring way
Having a tear-up at Millwall
Wasn't just a game to play.
I've been on my toes at Reading
Chased by some nutter with an axe
Been separated at Cardiff City
Totally on my jacks.
Now i'm older and wiser
All that stuff's not for me
But I can't pretend to lie to you
I want see Millwall at Wem-ber-lee!
The difference is I know I'm part time
And that's stretching the term
Never been one to give it large
Pretending I'm one of the firm.
And if the worst comes to the worst
And 'we' lose to Oxford United
Well I've got mates who support them too
At least for them I'll be delighted!
Dulwich Poet 11th December 2015
( Millwall won at Southend United on Tuesday night, to reach the area final of the Johnson Paints Trophy, and now face Oxford United in a two-legged tie, to see who reaches the final at Wembley. I've a 'soft spot' for Millwall, as they are the local professional team for me; many of my old friends at school were Millwall fans, & I went there a few times in my younger days. Now I'm a 'one or two games a season' fairweather fan. But my first & only true football love has always been Dulwich Hamlet.)
Can't you hear the noise?
Time to pile down The New Den
We're all lifelong Millwall boys.
In the Tinpot Paintpot area final
Just one round from Wembley Way
Dreaming of another game under the Arch
South-east London going up north for the day.
Fifty thousand Lions at Wembley
It could be even more
All 'lifelong' supporters
Yes, you know the score.
They've always been Millwall
Stood on the 'Halfway Line'
Never missed a game at the old Den
Come rain or shine.
Been a fan for centuries
Millwall through and through
Just ain't been dahn there recently
But got a Lions tattoo.
I've never lied to you
Dulwich Hamlet are my side
Never been a proper Lion
Not really one of their pride.
In my younger days I was 'naughty'
Might've had a Bushwacking mate
Was one of many on the pitch at Luton
On that infamous FA Cup date.
Always had a soft spot for Millwall
But grateful I didn't stand on the C.B.L.
I'm certain my love of Dulwich Hamlet
Kept me out of a prison cell.
I had my hairy moments
Not just in a "Football Factory" adoring way
Having a tear-up at Millwall
Wasn't just a game to play.
I've been on my toes at Reading
Chased by some nutter with an axe
Been separated at Cardiff City
Totally on my jacks.
Now i'm older and wiser
All that stuff's not for me
But I can't pretend to lie to you
I want see Millwall at Wem-ber-lee!
The difference is I know I'm part time
And that's stretching the term
Never been one to give it large
Pretending I'm one of the firm.
And if the worst comes to the worst
And 'we' lose to Oxford United
Well I've got mates who support them too
At least for them I'll be delighted!
Dulwich Poet 11th December 2015
( Millwall won at Southend United on Tuesday night, to reach the area final of the Johnson Paints Trophy, and now face Oxford United in a two-legged tie, to see who reaches the final at Wembley. I've a 'soft spot' for Millwall, as they are the local professional team for me; many of my old friends at school were Millwall fans, & I went there a few times in my younger days. Now I'm a 'one or two games a season' fairweather fan. But my first & only true football love has always been Dulwich Hamlet.)
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