"Work Life Balance"

We're away to AFC Sudbury
The first game is here
So why am I so miserable
Unable to raise a cheer?
That's the problem with work
It pays for the games I go
But when I'm stuck in the library
The day drags ever so slow.
I can't be bothered about shelving
Or the Summer Reading Scheme
My mind's wandering off to Suffolk
The start of a new championship dream.
All afternoon I'll be clicking the computer
Checking the latest score
Even though I refreshed a minute ago
I'm desperate for more.
Nowadays we're spoilt rotten
Updates with just a click
In the old days before computers
It was bite your nails worrying sick.
When work was over
Rushing to the phone box in the street
Hearing some old scrote at the ground
Give bad news that we'd been beat.
Then you'd have to call back
Just to double check
In case you were being wound up
Turning into a nervous wreck.
Gutted when we lose
But glad you weren't there
Letting out a whoop of delight
But missing out ain't fair.
I really envy my fellow fans
Those who do an ordinary nine to five
Able to go every Saturday
Without pulling a skive.
Do you really think I'm bothered
That your James Patterson's not on the shelf
Or you can't find a book for your haemorrhoids
On the one that's marked 'health'.
All I'm interested in 
Is have we scored a goal
From three until ten to five
I don't care about my library role
One last look at the terminal
To check that final score
Desperate for that big grin on my face
When it's time to walk out the door.
So I might have missed it
Three points on the board
What I want is a Dulwich victory
Now that will strike a chord.
Even when I'm stuck at work
And my mood is rather bleak
It's a victory that I wasn't at
That carries me through the week.
So come on Dulwich Hamlet
My boys in Pink & blue
Give your all for me today
And on Tuesday I'll do the same for you.

Dulwich Poet 13th August 2016

(It's the start of the new season, & Dulwich Hamlet are away, but I'm stuck at work! I work in a public library, and have to work every other Saturday)

"Honouring The System"

In the extremely unlikely circumstance
Where I was offered a gong
Would I choose to accept it
When selling out my principles is wrong?
I'm not from African stock
So no forebears turning in their grave
I wouldn't say 'Yes' for the attention
That's not what I crave.
I'm just an ordinary fella
Who grew up in a council flat
Now well into middle age
All I've got is worthless tat.
Football egg cups from Hamburg
A toy football lorry from Cologne
If you think that's more than a little weird
Trust me I'm not alone.
Us football fans are magpies
We don't do things by halves
Boxes and cupboards packed tight with
Assorted programmes, hats and scarves.
I don't believe in the honours system
Reserved for cronies from hell
But I'm sure a medallion from the Queen
Is just the thing for Ebay to sell.
I wouldn't accept for the honour
It's not all about me,me,me...
But I'd love those posh crust-free sandwiches
With a dainty bone china cup of tea.
But most of all I couldn't resist
The chance of a Buckingham Palace pony
Unable to turn down a crap on her porcelain throne
Despite the honours system being baloney.
Actually, maybe I won't flog it
I quite like Mishi the Poet M.B.E.
And if you're not sure I'm serious
Go ahead and nominate me.

Dulwich Poet 12th August 2016

(Former professional footballer Howard Gayle, the first black player to appear for Liverpool, and now involved in the 'Show Racism The red Card' campaign, has turned down an MBE as it would be 'a betrayal to the Africans who suffered at the hands of the British Empire.)