"Liquid Fools Gold"

Have you overdone it
A little too much Christmas cheer
Time to go and show them
Have a month off the beer.
Cos this will really show them
It's so easy to cope
And I'll really be quids in
Money for old rope.
Look how I don't need that drink
Haven't even got the shakes
See I'm just a sociable drinker
I've got what it takes.
Who are you trying to kid
You're only fooling yourself
In truth you're an Alkie
Pretending to be in good health.
In January you're the pub bore
Spouting out you don't need booze
Squeezing another notch on your belt
Saying how many pounds you're going to lose.
Come the First of February
You'll just have one or two
Then normal service resumed
It becomes quite a few.
Deep down you know the truth
Everyone else knows the score
You're an alcoholic
Even if you're not lying on the floor.
So no more of this pretend nonsense
Stopping in January lark
You're really not much different
Than those dossers in the park.
This peretence of being in control
When alcohol's got you round the neck
It really is a death grip
And you're going to hit the deck.
It's not being a social drinker
Getting pissed until you can't walk
You must know you have a problem
Despite all your normality talk.
Seeing as you're Old Skool old fashioned
Time to use the proverbial phone book
Go search for Alcoholics Anonymous
You need to take a look.

 Dulwich Poet 12th January 2019

(It's 'Dry January' apparently. When people give up drink, de-tox for a month, make the sacrifice for charity, or whatever. It also masks people with drink problems pretending they are 'normal' drinkers...)

"Was That Christmas?"

Don't get me wrong I enjoyed it
My sister inviting me to her friend
But it was something I was so unused to
Couldn't wait for the day to end.
What a lovely hostess
As soon as we got through the door
Radiating happiness and goodwill
Despite cooking for a dozen or more.
I felt like an outsider
Is this how ordinary people live
Sat round the dinner table
Not sure what I had to give.
Making sure I controlled my tongue
Careful what I said
Not wanting to make a fool of myself
With the first thought in my head.
They all gave out little presents
I was just my sister's 'plus one'
Not that I was expecting anything
When all was said and done.
Watching their little pleasure
'Pretending' to like what they got
Knowing I've always got it right
By not caring a jot.
Consumerism nightmares
Buying fancy tat
What's the point of more socks or smellies
Not for me where I'm sat.
Hand on heart I'll be honest
It wasn't the ordeal I thought
And my hostess appreciated the diplomacy
Of the bottle of wine I brought.
I liked it more than I should
And the food was top notch
But deep down I felt I don't belong here
Constantly looking at my watch.
I get you all enjoy it
As far as I could see
If only people would understand
Christmas is not for me.

Dulwich Poet 12th January 2019

(My original plans were to visit a friend for Christmas, but it fell through. My sister was going to visit one of her friends, and invited me along. I'm not a Christmas person, it was strange, but also nicer than I thought...)