I don't want to sound rude
But it's not like turning a tap on
You have to be in the mood.
As for suggesting something as simple
As the filling of two slices of bread
What on earth is there to say about a sandwich
That's even worth being read?
But then something simple
As one that's filled with cheese
Will soon send me into 'grumpy mode'
Despite me being easy to please.
Cheese and tomato, cheese and onion
Assorted rolls filled with green
If I wanted to eat lettuce I'd be a rabbit
There's no plain old cheese to be seen.
Vegetables are what my dinner eats
I don't want that crap contaminating my roll
All I want is something plain
That's going to fill a hole.
And even if they sell me a simple sandwich
Will they have normal bread
Some of the crap shops sells today
Really do in my head.
Call me old fashioned....
But it's a doorstep I want on my plate
Or two white slices of Mothers Pride
Anything else I hate.
Wholebread, granary, organic
Don't get me started on ciabatta
I just want an ordinary sandwich
Not some fancy platter!
Give me something normal
Plain and simple I can taste
There's really nothing better
Than good old Shippam's paste.
You can stick your salad and garnish
Give me old fashioned grub
The sort of thing we were happy with
When a pub was still a pub.
Don't get me wrong I like Wetherspoons
It ideal for decent food
When it comes to eating
I'm not really a prude.
But those poncy-posh gastro-pubs
An abomination that should be banned
A blight on our high streets
Up and down the land.
It makes me hanker for the old days
When a cheese or ham sandwich would suffice
Treating yourself To a pickled egg with your pint
If you wanted a bit of spice.
Perhaps it's time to be like Seventies weirdy beardies
And copy the Campaign for Real Ale
Battling for plain and simple sandwiches
Just ones that haven't gone stale.
I'm not stuck in a time warp
Just bring back my simple sarnie
Get your Pret a Manger crap out of my face
Unless you want a barney!
Dulwich Poet 30th June 2016
(A mate of mine, who also enjoys writing poetry had his partner ask him to write a poem on 'sandwiches', not sure why shed did, but he told her that he couldn't write poetry just like that, and said it was like asking Michelangelo to paint your portrait...so I wrote this about sandwiches!)
But it's not like turning a tap on
You have to be in the mood.
As for suggesting something as simple
As the filling of two slices of bread
What on earth is there to say about a sandwich
That's even worth being read?
But then something simple
As one that's filled with cheese
Will soon send me into 'grumpy mode'
Despite me being easy to please.
Cheese and tomato, cheese and onion
Assorted rolls filled with green
If I wanted to eat lettuce I'd be a rabbit
There's no plain old cheese to be seen.
Vegetables are what my dinner eats
I don't want that crap contaminating my roll
All I want is something plain
That's going to fill a hole.
And even if they sell me a simple sandwich
Will they have normal bread
Some of the crap shops sells today
Really do in my head.
Call me old fashioned....
But it's a doorstep I want on my plate
Or two white slices of Mothers Pride
Anything else I hate.
Wholebread, granary, organic
Don't get me started on ciabatta
I just want an ordinary sandwich
Not some fancy platter!
Give me something normal
Plain and simple I can taste
There's really nothing better
Than good old Shippam's paste.
You can stick your salad and garnish
Give me old fashioned grub
The sort of thing we were happy with
When a pub was still a pub.
Don't get me wrong I like Wetherspoons
It ideal for decent food
When it comes to eating
I'm not really a prude.
But those poncy-posh gastro-pubs
An abomination that should be banned
A blight on our high streets
Up and down the land.
It makes me hanker for the old days
When a cheese or ham sandwich would suffice
Treating yourself To a pickled egg with your pint
If you wanted a bit of spice.
Perhaps it's time to be like Seventies weirdy beardies
And copy the Campaign for Real Ale
Battling for plain and simple sandwiches
Just ones that haven't gone stale.
I'm not stuck in a time warp
Just bring back my simple sarnie
Get your Pret a Manger crap out of my face
Unless you want a barney!
Dulwich Poet 30th June 2016
(A mate of mine, who also enjoys writing poetry had his partner ask him to write a poem on 'sandwiches', not sure why shed did, but he told her that he couldn't write poetry just like that, and said it was like asking Michelangelo to paint your portrait...so I wrote this about sandwiches!)
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