It's a funny old thing
Have you ever wondered
How you're going to die
Or what happens when you're dead?
I have.
Such is my lack of self-esteem
I see my death in a dream
Constantly. More repeats than ITV
Asleep at night all I can see.
A parachute jump without the chute
Let me tell you, it's no hoot
Those last few seconds scare me to shit
Those moments before the ground is hit.
When I choose it will be a train
Just one bang and no pain
Sorry driver you have no choice
It's my life. It's MY choice.
For those who know me, no need to fear
It won't happen this or next year
Just one distant darkened night
I shall know when the moment is right.
Platform's picked for me to go thump
Certainty of death in my jump.
No am dram of slashing wrist'
Or vodka & pills getting pissed.
I know people like me and I'm not bad
Doesn't explain constantly sad
'Black Dog' doesn't engulf me inside
But in my head there's a puppy to hide.
Life could be better, life could be worse
If I was ordinary I wouldn't try verse
Accept that life is lonely mundane
Just get on & apportion no blame.
Dulwich Poet-7th January 2013.
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