"Such A Giveaway"

There you go again
Such a faux pas
On a London tube train.
That 'open' door button
Looks so inviting to press
But it's only there for show
Causing you stress.
Put there to make you stick out
Like a sore thumb
You couldn't be more
Stereotype stupid Northern
If you went 'Ee-Bye-Gum!'
Still how were you to know..
It's not a sin
And it makes me chuckle
As I break into a grin.
Unlike on the old trains
That went to Wembley Park
With those straps to hang on
Which were such a lark.
From the ceiling
Like mini punch bags
You couldn't resist
Giving them a little whack
When you were all pissed.
Such witty northern wags
Should you were Joe Bugner
Or Muhammed Ali
Confirming the fact that
All northerners are
Stupid to me.

Dulwich Poet 29th March 2014

(Someone tried to push the 'open' button on the tube today. Londoners know they are pointless, as they don't work. But tourists and northerners don't. It reminded me of northern fans on the tube on old Cup Final days past, or going to England internationals at the old Wembley, many years ago)