"The Hipster Hunt"

Combed back hair and glasses
Stroking your manicured beard
You are a stereotypical hipster
Totally fucking weird.
I really hate the Overground
Bringing your sort south
At least I've mellowed in sobriety
Writing poetry instead of giving it mouth.
Cos make no mistake sitting opposite
You'd hate the thoughts in my head
If I had my own way
You weirdy beardy tossers  would all be dead!
At least back in the day a beard
Just meant a hippy or real ale freak
Now you take all the seats on the train
Every single day of  the week.
It wasn't so bad when you were Dalston or Shoreditch
On the other side of the water
But now you're in my South London
It's time for a mass slaughter.
Surely that would be a winner
If I stood for London Mayor
The Anti-Hipster Mass Murder Party
They wouldn't have a prayer!
What a great transpontine pastime
Now bear baiting's not coming back
How about a 'Tally Ho! Hipster Hunt'
Across the Thames along the Overground track?




Dulwich Poet 28th January 2016




(I wrote this on the Overground train home from Shoreditch High Street to Sydenham, after having been to an Open Mic in Brick Lane. The bloke opposite got off at Brockley.)