"Birthday Meeting"

It's a Monday night without football
And I'm sat on a tram
I've no idea where it's going to
I don't give a damn.
For today I turned fifty
And I've just been to A.A.
An English speaking meeting
Where I shared and had my say.
Over fourteen years sober
Life's not perfect but I strive
Can't believe I reached half a century
And I'm actually still alive.
The way I was going
I was killing myself
The amount I was drinking
Wasn't good for my health.
Alcopops on the train to work
Just to keep me calm
Ten pints or more in a day
Was no cause for alarm.
Now I'm sat down contented
Riding the Amsterdam tram tracks
The only drink that I need
Is a bottle of Pepsi Max.
I have no hesitation
I'm a better person for sure
Though even without alcohol
I can still be rude and a bore.
I prefer to think I'm 'forthright'
More honest than blunt
But don't expect me to hold back
If you're a bit of a cunt.
To all my friends who supported me
Right from the very start
I just want to humbly thank you
From the bottom of my heart.
To my brother and sisters
Who know how low I could sink
How I regret everything I've done
When under the demon drink.
I really should know better
When our old man died of booze
But that's the thing about alcoholism
It doesn't let you choose.
So far I've been lucky
No relapses and I'm clean
As for the future...
Well that remains to be seen.
I've got to reamain vigilant
The danger IS that next drink
The temptation doesn't go away
No matter what you think.
Those temptations may get lesser
As the years go by
But the devil still whispers on my shoulder
Encouraging me to try.
You may think it's really awful
I've turned fifty all alone
But spiritually through sobriety
Look how much I have grown.
Tonight I spoke at a strange meeting
I was chuffed with applause and a cheer
All from a room of strangers
Because I turned fifty without a beer.

Dulwich Poet 24th October 2016

(Today is my 50th birthday, and I went to an English speaking meeting in Amsterdam this evening. Without a doubt, if I had not have stopped drinking, I would not have reached the age of fifty...)