You’re an MBE
Man of the nation
Below their station.
Over the breakfast table
Perusing your ‘Sun’
Did you have the urge
To grab a gun?
Rice crispies, milk turning sour
Should have been your finest hour.
When William was born it was bad enough
Having to see that Italian bloke’s guff
Now it’s all Kate’s dads stuff
Out of focus, out of shot
He is everything that you are not.
How can a new granddad
Know how to fawn
To earn your corn
When you’ve done it for the whole of your life
And not just cos your girl’s a royalty wife.
Don’t they realise who you are
Have they pushed you just too far?
Time to join the other side
Jump on the paparazzi motorbike ride
Chase ‘em down a tunnel
And go for the kill
All because of a wonky still!
Dulwich Poet 20th August 2013
(Kate Middleton, future queen, mother of Prince George, had the first official photos of her baby taken by her dad, rather than an established, professional snapper. The tabloid Royal photographer, Arthur Edwards, was highly critical of them)
(I read this at 'Poetry Unplugged', an open mic night at The Poetry Cafe, Covent Garden; Tuesday 3rd September 2013)
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