"Fears"

Best seat in the stand
Cup of tea in their hand
Heads buried in the sand
Every boardroom in the land.
Please tell me it's not like this
Everywhere else.
I certainly don't belong
But I need to keep
My fire strong
For if people like me
Lose faith
The future of our Club
Will never be safe.
Even more money needs to be found
Club already driven to the ground.
Am so scared of what lays ahead
Selfishly not just if my Club's dead
Shitting myself at such a major thing
And the head fucks that will bring
All it will take is one glass
Then I'm back on my arse
For almost eleven years I've been on track
Seriously worried I will crack
My Football Club's been my facade
Keeping it there will be hard
The thought of a drink makes me quiver
Down my spine goes a shiver
If ever I pick up another beer
I won't live another year.
My life's not been much
I won't be missed
Even less so if
I regress to pissed.
I'd cut out the middle man
And drown my liver
By going to Prague
To jump in the river.

Dulwich Poet 4th April 2013

(I have been sober, a recovering alcoholic, since the end of May 2002. The Football Club I support has been my emotional crutch through life. I fear we will not make it through another season. I wrote this having been at a Club Committee meeting earlier this evening)