"Wedding Night Yomp"

You might have a misconception
Of a wedding reception
If I told you the groom
Was a dustman by trade
You'd probably say
Jolly well played
As if it was
Some sort of achievement
To have a lovely do at
A Golf Club
With real posh cupcakes!
I'm not a social type of bloke
Though a million times nice
Now I'm only on coke
(The fizzy kind, mind!)
Maybe it's my low expectations
That I brought on myself
Through alcoholism
And being a horrible
Selfish bastard
That has seen me ruin nights like these
Totally drunk doing as I please
Being too pissed to realise
Which is no excuse mind,
That I come to appreciate
How kind it was to be invited
As an evening guest.
Once I found it
Got lost for a bit.
Bit if a disaster all my fault
Made my night almost come to a halt.
First I left the invite with details at home
My own error, can hardly moan
At least I had the place in my head
The map in my memory would do instead.
Jumped off the bus far too early
Turning my good mood somewhat surly
But eventually I was back on track
Or so I thought until ready to crack!
Round in circles over a golf course
Ready to turn back full of remorse
Tripping up in a bunker of sand
Cuts, scratches from hedges all over my hand.
Shirley by night
Is not a sight
I ever want to see again
But it was worth all the pain
And at least it didn't rain!
So glad I persevered
Just to see Malcolm's eyes light up
As if The Hamlet had won the Cup
To see me there.
He really did care
Even though I was
Just another guest
He made me feel
As if I was the best.
His warmth and pat on the back
Made me so glad
I did not about turn to go home
For the special feeling
Beccause I had shown.
I didn't stay long
Not to have been there
Would have been so wrong.
All that happened
By forgetting the venue was
I wound myself up and
Wasted a bit of time
All in all not a crime
What would have been
Was not being seen
At all! And learning
How ordinary folk
Lead ordinary lives
In their own special way.
I'm learning, I think
But need to blink
Pinch myself
And count to ten
It's like I'm only just
Starting life again.

Dulwich Poet 19th April 2013

( I went to an evening wedding reception, earlier tonight. A really nice bloke, who's a fellow Dulwich Hamlet fan invited me. I thought there would be loads of us, and I would be one of many from behind the goal. turns out there were just a selct handful of us from football, which was a bit of a humbling thought, that he'd asked. It made the effort worthwhile, as I forgot to bring the map, and got lost on the adjacent golf course, then headed th wrong way, when I got off it! I got there almost two hours later than expected. This poem is about my gratitude for the invite, and also about how uneasy I feel at these events, as I just turned up at them to get drunk, without a care for anyone else, at these type of things, which-with the obvious benefit of 'sober hindsight'-explains why I got so few invites to them. Without knowing or recalling, I am ashamed to say I have been told in the past how I ruined some events, making women burts into tears, with my drunken behaviour. If you had the misfortune to ever witness me at my worst, I humbly apologise...)