"Suicidal Choice"

Arms outstretched

Imitating wings

That’s what dreams of death brings

Not fluttering but roaring

In a rush past the

Point of no return.

More than once

I’ve stood at that point

On Tower Bridge

Gateway to Sarf Lunnon.

Too much of a coward to jump

Scared of hitting the River with a thump

I don’t want to cry

I just want to die.

It’s that certainty I was after

The finality of death

Absolute taking of my last breath

Finishing my own life WILL be my calling

No changing my mind as I’m falling.

My last thought must be nothing at all

It’s my shout, my last call.

Probably twenty years since

I dangled over the River,

But thinking back

There’s no cold shiver.

As I get older

Suicide’s my fate

Just not ready yet

To set the date.

It’s probably just as well I’m not a loon

Prevents me doing myself in

Either now or too soon

But when I do it WILL be my choice

So have the decency to respect my voice.

Dulwich Poet 24^th May 2013

( I often think of suicide, though it’s something way in the future. In the past I have come very close several times)