"By George!"

A medal for heroes
The women of Woolwich
Who crouched on the ground by
Slain Gunner Rigby.
An online petition
Asking help for heroes
Who lay down
Not their lives
But put them on the line
Without hesitation
Admiration of the nation.
Could you do that?
Not sure I'd be able to...
Which is why a local Reverend
Wants them honoured
With the George Medal.
Which is where I stopped taking
The piece in the Evening Standard seriously
And in my head
Started taking the piss.
Were they related?
Not the women
But the vicar-the Reverend
Van Der Valk
Cue: 'Der, der, der...
Der,der...der,der,der,der;
De der, de der....der,der!'
Seventies cop show
Imported from Amsterdam
My own gateway
To a Europe I was yet to discover
Drink, drugs...well, OK
Space cakes scoffed only in the Dam
Which made me a goalpost.
Dirty videos and wank booths
Same continent, different world!
A city that introduced me to...
Gay porn! Thank you Holland!
And the only time in my life
I visited a lady of the night.
Peer pressure, closet door still firmly shut
I only had one choice
Follow the sheep and climb the stairs
"Suckee, suckee" or "Fuckee, fuckee"
They say imagination
Is a wonderful thing
So I asked her to go down on her knees
And please wear...
My number ten shirt.
Not short of a trick
She charged me another ten guilders
For extras.
Cheeky bitch! But..
She was quite good
For a woman
As I shut my eyes
And thought of
Sorry, John Collins
Not your number ten
But Matt Norris!

Dulwich Poet 5th June 2013

(Well this didn't turn out as expected...I was going to write about the brave women in Woolwich, who went to the aid of the murdered British soldier, not thinking about their own safety, but when I saw the name of the local vicar the poem ended up about a quarter of a century ago in Amsterdam!)