"In The Rooms"

It's been a long time
Since I paid you a visit.
I like to pretend
I'm just getting on with my life
As I joke in my head
I don't want to get addicted...
To addiction!
In an alien city all alone
The emptiness gnaws away
Staying at a backpackers hostel
Surrounded being suffocated
By a young drinking culture
Tempted by the mythical Heineken vulture
Whispering invisibly into my ear
One or two beers to get the taste
Just before closing time, well paced.
Just a couple can't do any harm
The idea's enough to cause alarm.
Why is it whenever I travel
Mental strength starts to unravel?
Watching people having run-of-the-mill fun
Realising my life was over
Before it was begun.
I must release the past and look ahead
The future needn't be something to dread.
Eleven years sober
I still think of drink
More than I dare admit
I've been near the brink.
Time for the rooms and a welcoming chair
Sit and listen or choose to share.
My 'excuse' is I don't want a meeting a night
Struggling inside with a mental fight
The problem is I am seeing
I need to go more for my well being.
Time to battle my own self doubt
The alternative doesn't bear thinking about.

Dulwich Poet 15th June 2013

(I was in Edinburgh for a few days, in a lively, but frienldy, backpackers hostel. The 'temptation' to drink is still there. much more so when away from home in a faraway city. I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting up there, my 'safety valve')